Love Systems Super-Conference!!!

Can't wait for this years SUPER LOVE / DATING CONFIDENCE / CONFERENCE, only a month to go!! Oh my god they're unveiling the new TRIAD MODEL of love and friendship!! I don't know what's better, the fact that this is the cheapest dating seminar I've ever enrolled in, (only $947!!!!!) or how they make dating like a SCIENCE for my SCIENCE-ONLY BRAIN!

Tenderness equations! Romance loops and routines! Mathematical models of sexual congress! If only they could teach us how to code a PHP/DSX/HTML/APTTTPP program to automatically produce intimacy, trust, and tits. It's about time men worked out a sure-fire method of how to approach / talk to the other SPECIES like adults/friends/lovers. For years women have been tricking me into buying them expensive cars and babies using their feminine "whales," and what am I left with, except my two best buds MATH & SCIENCE. Maybe George Sodini should have dropped a grand on this instead of a couple hand cannons and a can of Crazyade!

Women are scary vampires.

On a different note, just saw a Burger King commercial advertising their new Mini Whopper, in itself an oxymoron. "This one's a real whopper! But small." The ad ends with the catchphrase, "Big Flame-Fresh Taste!"

No

part

of

which

I

can

even

begin

to

understand.

How would that taste? Like licking a fire? A big tongue? A fresh grill? What the fuck? Why is everything so shitty?

I want to yell.

SOURCE Update 12

What's the worst thing about massacring ten thousand Chinese students?

An hour later, you feel like massacring ten thousand more.
Oof, that one's got punch.

Chinese coal worker.


Haha! Fuck you guy!

This looks like what my breakfast sometimes looks like.


Laser-etched truck. This guy also made a machine that makes poop. I am not kidding. It's weird because as soon as people see that the poop comes out of a machine they want to touch / buy it. What the fuck people?

Nice one with the masks!



Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Ah.

Kiddin! Actually a whistle.

On the set of Metropolis (1927) seems annoying.

Nice one with the inexplicable!

Wish my family was this hilarious.

Living in Japan seems hard on the eyeballs.

SOURCE Update 9

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to drink until the rooms spins.

Electrical storm over an erupting volcano in Spain or whatever.

Mm, artistic pears.

Mm, cake-amera.

Whoa, life.

Most people are crazy in Thailand.

Fuck you too.

I wish my toys were this hilarious.

Chotto suzuki daimyo makkudonarudo!


Some painter guy really likes Daniel Johnston.

Bad ways to drink wine.

Lead singer of Sevendust.

That sentence is totally believable, isn't it?

BEST EVER PHOTO MAKING

Nice one with the photos and the guitars that scare cats maybe!

Oooh, nice one with the cats and the horseboat captains.

Why so serious? Lady is jumping on your bed.

SOURCE Update 6

My father taught me about the birds and the bees. He didn't know anything about girls. Actually he told me to always take a dump before a big date. Good advice.

Whoa lady.

I want this real bad.

In Japan most people are crazy!



Whoa guy. I'm not sure what you're going for here. Are you a steampunk bird-dude? Because that's totally normal. Maybe you are an artist? Get a job.

ART

Not real, thank god.


Whoa fish. Chill. Here is some fish food or whatever.

Not sure...

Don't think this is real.

This is a still from the Cremaster series by Matthew Barney. Boy, he/they is/are weird.

"A thousand pardons, Sahib. May I first say that I am in the business of exotic animal import and export and I am greatly impressed by your pet ape. It is a child? Well in any event I am prepared to make you an offer of one million Arabian pesos, stored here in this coin."

He's wearing a bra! This does not seem pleasurable however sexy his facial expression is intended to look. Good composition though.

SOURCE Update 4

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

That is Dali hanging out in there.

Copy-cat!

"Tengo un arma. Déme todo su dinero y nadie consigue daño, señor."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Peter used to be fat.

Not so nice one with the making it look like somebody sneezed their cancer on your leg.

!

!!

!!! (You can tell it's in Japan by the cartoon-bedecked plane.)


"Inadagadadavuhhh bay-beeeee..." is how this guy sounds when he sings.



Wrap your mind around steampunk deers.

Chiller.