Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
3.24.2009
Ganesh is an Asshole Vol. 1
I'm going to start uploading the comics from my last silkscreen project, which wasn't really silkscreen-type-material-that-should-be-silkscreened, it was a bunch of three panel comics starring Ganesh, a churlish Hindu diety. So I'm taking the four that are already inked and redoing them in full color and who knows, maybe I'll make some more.......................?? ......?
3.18.2009
Keck
2.16.2009
SOURCE Update 13
A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a booming voice, "DIG!"
He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again, "I SAID, DIG!"
So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after digging for some time he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says, "OPEN!"
Okay, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to break the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins.
The booming voice says, "TO THE CASINO!"
Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino.
The deep voice says, "ROULETTE!"
So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him in disbelief.
The deep voice says, "TWENTY-SEVEN!"
He takes the whole pile and drops it at the twenty-seven. Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball.
The ball spins, spins. . . stops at the twenty-six.
The voice booms, "SHIT!"
Just made this! It is what I am doing most of the time.
Happy Valentines Day. . . from SATAN!
Chicks in cars. Being doing since 1950.
Turkey has no idea how fucked he is.
Not sure.
Not so nice one with breeding of the dog til it is permanently sad.
"Got me a rabs."
Not so nice one with the benches? What the fuck architect?
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, "it's better than yours." Damn right it's better than yours. I can teach you, but I have to charge.
Ha! Fuck you racist guy!
Not what money is for.
Take two and don't call me tomorrow.
She has obviously read A History of Boners.
Are you reading a blog right now because of North-American zoning regulations? Maybe.
He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again, "I SAID, DIG!"
So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after digging for some time he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says, "OPEN!"
Okay, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to break the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins.
The booming voice says, "TO THE CASINO!"
Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino.
The deep voice says, "ROULETTE!"
So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him in disbelief.
The deep voice says, "TWENTY-SEVEN!"
He takes the whole pile and drops it at the twenty-seven. Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball.
The ball spins, spins. . . stops at the twenty-six.
The voice booms, "SHIT!"
Just made this! It is what I am doing most of the time.
Happy Valentines Day. . . from SATAN!
Chicks in cars. Being doing since 1950.
Turkey has no idea how fucked he is.
Not sure.
Not so nice one with breeding of the dog til it is permanently sad.
"Got me a rabs."
Not so nice one with the benches? What the fuck architect?
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, "it's better than yours." Damn right it's better than yours. I can teach you, but I have to charge.
Ha! Fuck you racist guy!
Not what money is for.
Take two and don't call me tomorrow.
She has obviously read A History of Boners.
Are you reading a blog right now because of North-American zoning regulations? Maybe.
1.09.2009
SOURCE Update 12
What's the worst thing about massacring ten thousand Chinese students?
An hour later, you feel like massacring ten thousand more.
Oof, that one's got punch.
Chinese coal worker.
Haha! Fuck you guy!
This looks like what my breakfast sometimes looks like.
Laser-etched truck. This guy also made a machine that makes poop. I am not kidding. It's weird because as soon as people see that the poop comes out of a machine they want to touch / buy it. What the fuck people?
Nice one with the masks!
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Ah.
Kiddin! Actually a whistle.
On the set of Metropolis (1927) seems annoying.
Nice one with the inexplicable!
Wish my family was this hilarious.
Living in Japan seems hard on the eyeballs.
An hour later, you feel like massacring ten thousand more.
Oof, that one's got punch.
Chinese coal worker.
Haha! Fuck you guy!
This looks like what my breakfast sometimes looks like.
Laser-etched truck. This guy also made a machine that makes poop. I am not kidding. It's weird because as soon as people see that the poop comes out of a machine they want to touch / buy it. What the fuck people?
Nice one with the masks!
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Ah.
Kiddin! Actually a whistle.
On the set of Metropolis (1927) seems annoying.
Nice one with the inexplicable!
Wish my family was this hilarious.
Living in Japan seems hard on the eyeballs.
12.30.2008
SOURCE Update 11
A man and a woman are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up, and carries it back into the car. She say, "Look, it's shivering... it must be cold. What should I do?"
He says, "Put it between your legs."
She says, "What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."
Hey there, sexy.
Nice one with the shadows and mirrors.
Ooh, nice one with the tree forts.
Iggy Pop is not a human man.
Keith! Cut it out with the pirate shit!
Yes. You have shown them all.
Aerial of Burning Man in 2007. God I want to go. Nice one with the Mondo Spiders!
This is scary and maybe not real.
Okay yeah checked the facts and it is real but it's also in Georgia, the country. So really who gives a shit.
We're Only In It For The Money (1968) And dresses, apparently. Nice one Frank.
Penguins.
Made by British artist. No, it's not real.
Not so nice one with the being crazy-looking! I hope we're not supposed to be able to look past this to find a golden personality.
They are mean to dogs in China.
He says, "Put it between your legs."
She says, "What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."
Hey there, sexy.
Nice one with the shadows and mirrors.
Ooh, nice one with the tree forts.
Iggy Pop is not a human man.
Keith! Cut it out with the pirate shit!
Yes. You have shown them all.
Aerial of Burning Man in 2007. God I want to go. Nice one with the Mondo Spiders!
This is scary and maybe not real.
Okay yeah checked the facts and it is real but it's also in Georgia, the country. So really who gives a shit.
We're Only In It For The Money (1968) And dresses, apparently. Nice one Frank.
Penguins.
Made by British artist. No, it's not real.
Not so nice one with the being crazy-looking! I hope we're not supposed to be able to look past this to find a golden personality.
They are mean to dogs in China.
12.16.2008
SOURCE Update 9
How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to drink until the rooms spins.
Electrical storm over an erupting volcano in Spain or whatever.
Mm, artistic pears.
Mm, cake-amera.
Whoa, life.
Most people are crazy in Thailand.
Fuck you too.
I wish my toys were this hilarious.
Chotto suzuki daimyo makkudonarudo!
Some painter guy really likes Daniel Johnston.
Bad ways to drink wine.
Lead singer of Sevendust.
That sentence is totally believable, isn't it?
BEST EVER PHOTO MAKING
Nice one with the photos and the guitars that scare cats maybe!
Oooh, nice one with the cats and the horseboat captains.
Why so serious? Lady is jumping on your bed.
Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to drink until the rooms spins.
Electrical storm over an erupting volcano in Spain or whatever.
Mm, artistic pears.
Mm, cake-amera.
Whoa, life.
Most people are crazy in Thailand.
Fuck you too.
I wish my toys were this hilarious.
Chotto suzuki daimyo makkudonarudo!
Some painter guy really likes Daniel Johnston.
Bad ways to drink wine.
Lead singer of Sevendust.
That sentence is totally believable, isn't it?
BEST EVER PHOTO MAKING
Nice one with the photos and the guitars that scare cats maybe!
Oooh, nice one with the cats and the horseboat captains.
Why so serious? Lady is jumping on your bed.
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