Whoa! What the fuck!? Where am I? Who are you?
Haha. Gotcha. You thought I was an amnesiac.
Fuck, I did think that.
Oh yeah I'm feeling good about that.
I'm not really that thrilled with you tricking me.
What!? Who said that? Who are you? Where am I?
OK. This time I am on to you.
(fart)
Bad smells are happening.
Oh, you like that one? I ate some fish earlier.
OK we should talk about some stuff. We are on TV.
(political noises)
Wery [sic] nice. I am convinced that you are the opponent of the person I am voting for.
I also have a hobby of making jokes. My favorite one goes:
An American couple is in Paris on a long-awaited trip, when suddenly the wife dies of a heart attack. The husband decides to have her buried there since they have looked forward to their visit to France for many years.
All arrangements are made when he suddenly realizes he doesn't have a black hat for the funeral. The hotel concierge tells him that what he wants is a chapeau noir. So he goes off to find a store that is open late.
First he meets a gendarme and in his fractured French asks, "M'sieur, ou pouvais-je acheter un capeau noir?"
The policeman is a bit suprised since the American has asked where he can buy a black condom, but, after thinking a bit, he gives our friend directions. The store looks a little seedy and run-down, but the man behind the counter looks friendly so in goes the American and asks, "M'sieur, je veux acheter un capeau noir."
"Mais, monsieur, j'ai des capeaux rouges, des capeaux blancs, et des capeax marrons, mais pas des capeaux noire." After explaining that he has red, white, and brown condoms but no black condoms, the man asks the American why he wants a black condom, "Pourquoi avez vous besoin d'un capeau noir?"
"Ma femme est morte."
After the American says that his wife is dead, the man exclaims, "O Monsieur! Quelle beau sentiment! -- What a beautiful idea!"
So this pretty much sums my stance on foreign policy.
Hahaha!
Haha! Yeah! I knew you'd like that one. I've got a whole bunch of jokes that I just thought of on a piece of paper before I came on the show.
Please don't tell any more.
Fuck.
Okay, so I've heard that you are old.
Well, I'm not that--
Dude, you're so old! Fucking admit it.
You know what? Fine.
It was this big!
We. Are. Not. Talking. About. Fishing!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA
Hm.
Pull my finger.
My dad used to pull that one all the time. The joke, not the finger.
Mm. Ya.
I wonder if I should tell that one about Dad's donger hanging out of his housecoat when the UPS guy was over...
Pretty good.
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