SPF 10,000: May 2009

5.28.2009

Collegiate Gothic R(ev)ivals

Held in the utmost contempt by the University of Pittsburgh's Cathedral of Spurning, students on the campus of Carnegie Mellon University are clearly crushed by the tower's smoldering disdain.

Constructed in 1926, the historic building has continuously despised all who attend CMU and to a lesser degree the student bodies of Catham and Carlow colleges, whom it compares to, "simple street urchins, blissfully ignorant of substandard architectonics."

The cathedral is also known to become nauseated by Point Park University as well as feel superior in every way to Duquesne's "Old Main" Administration Building.

5.25.2009

AAAaraRrrrrrrggggggg

Shit, I'm about to graduate college.

5.21.2009

The most interesting link you'll click today

Do it. Click that title. Its so easy.

5.18.2009

Decepticons in Pyongyang

I'm sure by now you've heard of the ongoing crisis in North Korea regarding their renewed weapons programs. The Obama administration has yet to indicate it's foreign policy in North Korea, and on April 5th Pyongyang tried in vain to force the President's hand with the launch of a Taepodong-2 missile, under the guise of jumpstarting a North Korea satellite program. Though the rocket ultimately never reached orbit, through these efforts they have come one step closer to their goal of capturing the Moon, Earth's #1 best buddy "cheese-orb."

The latest provocation in a series of missile and nuclear tests has the global community urging current North Korean leader, Kim Jong Il, to reverse his brinksmanshippery and return to vehicular form.

Kim Jong Il in offensive mode, ready to strike

The most recent crisis was kicked off this Sunday when Kim Jong Il, attempting once again to gain international attention, changed from his normal form, a go-kart, into his combat state, bristling with weaponry. In this form he would be able to unleash tremendous destruction upon South Korea, with implications that even Japan could be within range of the rockets that launch from his kneecaps, which have allegedly been upgraded from what we saw in the North Korean transformer crisis of 2006.

President Barack Obama has yet to announce additional economic sanctions on Democratic People's Republic of Korea, or plans of increased engagement with Pyongyang. So far the U.S. and the U.N. have roundly condemned North Korea's latest attempt to incite fear in the hearts of its regional neighbors and the world community. The President has been quoted as saying, "It will not stand for North Korea and Kim Jong Il to threaten the peace of Northeast Asian and freedom-lovin' peoples everywhere with threats of vehicle-robot-hybrid proliferation."

President Obama

Kim Jong Il's father and founder of the D.P.R.K. Kim Il Sung has been safely stored in a memorial garage since his passing in 1994.

Kim Il Sung in 1992

Read the full story here.

5.17.2009

Astral Cheese

Dream sequence (12pm-2pm):

wake up in bed, startled
"there might not be any more pizza"
pizza box sitting on edge of bed
open it to find one slice of pizza left
as my teeth sink into the first bite...

wake up in bed, startled
"there might not be any more pizza"
tear apart bedroom looking for pizza box
failure, sit on bed
realize, there was a pizza box here all along
open it to find one slice of pizza left
as my teeth sink into the first bite...

wake up in bed, startled
"there might not be any more pizza"
tear apart bedroom looking for pizza box
failure, sit on bed
lay my head back onto the pillow
as it sinks into the pillow
my head passes through the pillow
my head and the pillow acting like the jaws of a pizza box
opening in mechanism
there is one slice of pizza left
as my teeth sink into the first bite
i wake up

I don't have any pizza. Matt Mayhem, the song "Pizza Party" that you played yesterday really messed my head up, maybe.