"YBU?"

So I've been sporadically posting links to download my mp3s but I think a lot of those links have expired... anyway head over to the myspace page to download the whole she-bang.

On another note [pun?] -- this year for Jewish Lent I've been busy cramming bird after bird into more bird's asses. Here's my game plan:

So by Easter this year or whatever the fuck day my whole family will be able to savor the juices of twelve succulent birds jammed into each other's butts.

Get in there, guinea fowl.

Fasting Fastilarians

Many Christians are currently fasting for Lent. Here are some other things that are fast.

fastest in the kingdom

other kingdom
one more kingdom

lets give this guy a round of applause, oh wait we don't have to! he's so fast.
wicked fast

fastest to third base
she can eat wings so fast!
"Mike O'Malley Show" cancelled approximately five minutes into the pilot episode. Nice and fast, Mike!

Did you know...?

That the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, was also a homeless Chinese man in the 1930's? Not much is known about this period in President Obama's life, except what is captured here in Tang Yingwei's 1936 woodcut:

Examining the image further, we can identify the President's clearly recognizable philtrum, as well as his unkempt state of chin hair affairs.

Also note the bags under President Obama's eyes and strained facial lines, most likely due the long hours spent toiling in the rice fields under the hot Chinese double-sun.

The weariness in the President's expression suggests a lack of proper amounts of sleep due to being homeless, as well as the constant threat of SARS/dragon attack. Also, what the hell is that guy doing back there? Is he dancing? It looks like he's dancing.

And there you have it. We will be researching this further as more sources become available, and hopefully we'll be able to shed some more light on President Obama's mysterious past.

SMEARBALLS

i hope you're ok with this

Pornographic Adaptations of Literary Classics That I Would Download

Blowjobberwocky
Smegma and Sensibility
DildO Pioneers!
198whore
Little Naked Women
Moby Dick
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Butt
Ballsack’s Selected Short Stories
Hard-on Times
Catch Her in the Eye
Puddn’gimmehead Wilson
The Red Badge of Frottage
Huckleboner Finn
David Copperfelch
The Aiming of the Poo

Charmed, I'm sure.

Oh hey sorry, I'm new here.

SOURCE Update 13

A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a booming voice, "DIG!"

He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again, "I SAID, DIG!"

So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after digging for some time he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.

The deep voice says, "OPEN!"

Okay, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to break the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins.

The booming voice says, "TO THE CASINO!"

Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino.

The deep voice says, "ROULETTE!"

So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him in disbelief.

The deep voice says, "TWENTY-SEVEN!"

He takes the whole pile and drops it at the twenty-seven. Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball.

The ball spins, spins. . . stops at the twenty-six.

The voice booms, "SHIT!"

Just made this! It is what I am doing most of the time.

Happy Valentines Day. . . from SATAN!


Chicks in cars. Being doing since 1950.

Turkey has no idea how fucked he is.

Not sure.

Not so nice one with breeding of the dog til it is permanently sad.

"Got me a rabs."

Not so nice one with the benches? What the fuck architect?

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, "it's better than yours." Damn right it's better than yours. I can teach you, but I have to charge.

Ha! Fuck you racist guy!

Not what money is for.

Take two and don't call me tomorrow.

She has obviously read A History of Boners.

Are you reading a blog right now because of North-American zoning regulations? Maybe.

War on Drugs & Signed in Blood - mp3s

These are demos.


I think you can guess which is which.

Lyrics:

the vandals came from up above
broke the windows of all the shops
screwdrove the museum lock
ripped every portrait along the hall

we want to wage the war on drugs
we take them into our bodies and lie on the rug
and something happens or not
sometimes something happens or it does not

god is great and heaven is big
but i got fifty watts yeah i got fifty watts
i got fifty watts

doctor hum is coming round
boys in blue are coming down
lights are set on strobe
should i stay or should i go

don't know those girls don't drink that beer
no i dont party there no i dont party there
i dont party there no

god is great and heaven is big
but i got fifty watts yeah i got fifty watts
hit and run the house yeah i got fifty watts
i got fifty watts yeah i got fifty watts
i got fifty watts yeah i got fifty watts

And:

he wants a contract signed in blood
he wants a contract signed in blood
he wants a contract signed in blood
he wants a contract signed in blood

he wants to scream at you between the legs
he wants to tongue the salt from your neck
he wants to bind your hands with rope
he wants a contract signed in blood
signed in blood

he wants a contract signed in blood
he wants a contract signed in blood
he wants a contract signed in blood
he wants a contract signed in blood

he wants the letters from your ex lovers
he wants to tattoo your face with signs
he wants to sleep inside your chest
he wants a contract signed in blood

he wants to tie you to the bed
he wants to return to the womb
he wants to make you untouchable
he wants a contract signed in blood
signed in blood

he wants a contract signed in blood
he wants a contract signed in blood
he wants a contract signed in blood
he wants a contract signed in blood

you forget dates and dreams
you forget the order of things
you forget what his name means
he wants a contract signed in blood

he wants to eat your chocolate pie
he wants to crash the party on high
he wants to bruise your perfect thighs
he wants a contract signed in blood
signed in blood

This blog used to be called Milk Star

"Where are my shoesies?" is probably the toughest question I have faced so far today. As well as "What were the consequences of the Cold War-embroiled U.S. waging a limited war in Korea?" Well, one was that we don't live in nuclear holocaust I guess. I'm still working this out. I also had to decide to post this picture:


This blog used to be called Milk Star and it was all black.

But I got sick of that name and since Jess started blogging better than me I felt the blog needed a re-vamping. So now we are "SPF 10,000" which is the kind of sun protection factor you would need to survive a nuclear holocaust. Not to mention fallout and radiation-zombies. I don't want to think about it, but I do all the time, and the point of this blog is to allow my anxiety about the Apocalypse and zombies to bubble up from my subconcious using Jess' interpretation of my "blogstyle" in a newly interpreted way. Also I'm going to post some music probably. It's possible I will get bored of this soon and change it back to Milk Star or some other weird thing.

Also had to just figure out exactly how much milk I wanted to drink. Five milk stars for Adam.